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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Blackjack Gabbiani's LiveJournal:

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    Saturday, March 8th, 2014
    6:18 pm
    Well, I'm still here. My head's been all sorts of blah lately.

    I moved! And my housewarming is in a week, the 15th. So of course my mom is not only taking over everything even remotely regarding cleaning and putting stuff away (how SHE wants them, of course), but also invited people she works with that I met all of once even after I specifically told her not to. Then when I told her to uninvite them, she acted like I was out of line even though she disobeyed me in the first place.

    So when does the whole "your parents will respect you more when you move out" thing kick in? Because so far they've continued to be controlling asshats.
    Friday, September 20th, 2013
    12:23 am
    Big news~! I'm moving in with an ex-model!

    ...or rather I'm moving INTO an ex-model--model home that is! I got myself a house!

    I haven't moved yet but I'm in the process of getting it ready like painting and stuff. The kitchen is mostly set up though, and I have a dining room table in there and a couch comes next week.

    So it's going to be me and Theener! Whoo! Though aah there's so much to do! I have to get things like phone and internet and stuff set up, and I have to get everything set up and finished and figure out how to do a ton of stuff and aaaaaaaah!!!!!

    It's scary to think about! And I have to do everything around the house when I move in and I have to get so much in order and wow

    I do have some registries going if you're so inclined. I know there's a date on them but nothing's really set--they just had me give a random date.
    https://secure.williams-sonoma.com/registry/fbt2qxcbrt/registry-list.html
    http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/giftregistry/view_registry_guest.jsp?pwsToken=&eventType=Housewarming®istryId=12639839&pwsurl= (this one I made a while ago so ignore the cutlery and water filter since I have both of them now)

    Aah I'm so excited but so nervous!

    I'm going to have a housewarming when I get ready but I have no idea when that will be.
    Saturday, March 2nd, 2013
    7:18 pm
    Dear god someone help me I can't stop buying Sims expansions
    Monday, January 7th, 2013
    11:10 pm
    Obsession 24! aka "Jirarudan Is Aspie As Fuck"
    A note first--I finished this a week ago and posted it to Serebii, but my other two places had issues. I can't seem to post to Bulbagarden because I can't log in for some unknown reason, so if anybody connected with them is reading this, please alert someone. I can consistantly read the site so I know what *isn't* going on, but it doesn't accept my login information--it doesn't even reject it, just doesn't do anything at all. I've tried to send messages but haven't recieved any replies. And as for LJ, well, I just plum forgot.


    Anyway, I hope you all enjoy! I mean, it's been over a year and all. I wish it came faster. And I have no idea what to do in the next chapter! So ideas are very welcome.





    To exaggerate myself to that degree was to be literally larger than life, and that was something that lent itself quite well to my desired path.Collapse )
    Friday, December 14th, 2012
    11:50 pm
    Saturday, December 1st, 2012
    1:18 am
    Some Athena!


    It's been a while since I posted some Athena here, hasn't it?
    Wednesday, November 28th, 2012
    1:06 pm
    I HAVEN'T SLEPT AND IT'S 1 PM. MY BACK ITCHES SO BADLY FROM THE INCISION SPOT AND HAVING BANDAGES OVER IT FOR A WEEK AND I'VE BROKEN OUT IN A RASH so someone please tell me a bedtime story or something
    Monday, November 26th, 2012
    5:59 am
    SO YOU'RE AWARE!

    I had back surgery on Wednesday. Turned out my leg pain was being caused by a bulging disk that was pressing into my nerve and so I got that taken out. My leg feels better but my back is now in terrible pain and I've spent the time basically high on pain meds and getting nothing done at all (as in, far less than I usually do!).

    But I'll be back soon and update my sales and get to everyone seeking to purchase and etc. Plus as stated before, I'm on my phone so if you need to contact me, I'll see it.
    Friday, November 2nd, 2012
    4:53 am
    DPA MONTH!
    Thaaaaat's right, a whole month devoted to Pokémon Diamond and Pearl Adventure!, a terribly underrated Sinnoh adaptation by Shigekatsu Ihara. More focused on the villain plot than a badge quest, DPA is noted for its clever storytelling, impressive depth of emotion, great artwork, and classic characters. It's found a special popularity among Team Galactic fans for treating them as fully realized characters with their own development rather than simple obstacles. And it has the rather pecular distinction of being one of only two Pokémon manga series to be fully translated by Viz (the other being Electric Tale of Pikachu over a decade ago!). All eight volumes are still in print.


    We've set aside the month of November to celebrate this unique comic and hopefully get more people reading it. Post discussions, fanfics, fanart, theories, fanmixes, or even just follow along in our handy meme!

    This post will serve as a hub for anyone who wants to follow along in the fun! If you participate even just for one post, put the link here so everyone can join in the discussion. Links to other sites are welcome too! If you're joining us on Tumblr, please tag your posts "dpa month" so people can find them.

    Thank you and have fun!
    Monday, October 15th, 2012
    6:46 am
    HOLY SHIT BLACKJACK WROTE A FANFIC
    And holy shit it's about Team Plasma! Now she's written about all of main Teams!

    First a little background. So in BW2 there are some bizarre implications about N not being Ghetsis's actual son despite, you know, them looking exactly alike, and it somehow makes it even LESS likely that they aren't somehow related because the story now is that N was abandoned and raised by wild pokemon and Ghetsis found him. Now, Game Freak, you're gonna look me in the eye and tell me that a guy who plots to take over the world and needs a pure heart to awaken the power to do so and is far too corrupt to accomplish this on his own JUST HAPPENS to stumble across a kid that suits his needs perfectly AND looks so very much like him? Yeah no. So anyway here's my fic. It's called Those Lost Days.



    There was a curse on the family line, he said, that would lead to its ultimate ruin.Collapse )
    Wednesday, September 26th, 2012
    3:32 pm
    OK so long story short I have an intense pain in my leg and thus can't sit at my computer for very long. I can get on tumblr because they have an app but LJ and DW are more complicated.

    This weekend I'll be selling at the Retro Gaming Expo in downtown Portland and I'm not sure how I'll handle it, since I made the reservation months ago. But if you're there, stop by! It's at the convention center.

    Anyway that's where I've been, sorry.
    Wednesday, June 13th, 2012
    2:05 am
    So my birthday is today

    and if you really want to get me something

    you all know what I like

    although if you insist I will make a list of suggestions for writing/drawing since most of you are like that.


    -I’d love to see something with Shaymin being Cyrus’s therapy animal. Complete with a little vest proclaiming it as such. Plus it would probably blow soot in his face if he started getting those “must destroy universe, become god” feelings again.

    -Jirarudan. Just…there needs to be more with him. There is so little out there that I must demand more.

    -Something with Jupiter and Mitsumi. Not necessarily shippy, although I certainly wouldn’t turn that away.

    -I admit, I have a but a single ship for Mars and it’s with Koya. There is literally nothing for this. Fix that oversight?

    and something that would be super nice would be some positive memory you have of me. I need some stuff to read when I feel down (which isn’t now but I can tell it’ll be a difficult summer for me).
    Monday, June 4th, 2012
    6:00 pm
    Do you like Blackjack? Do you like birthdays? Do you like bbq?

    Then YOU ARE INVITED to my Birthday Bash, this Friday and Saturday at my place!

    Although it’s less a “bash” and more a “we’ll hang out and probably play video games most of the day and if on Saturday we’ll go for ribs” event, but hey.

    Can you get down to Beaverton? If so, you can even stay at my place! Just let me know if you can make it~



    (disclaimer--my actual birthday is the 13th but we're having the celebration this weekend because my mom couldn't get off work, which is why the rush announcement)
    Friday, May 11th, 2012
    2:06 am
    So as you may have noticed! I've been sorely absent from LJ and even from DW, basically using Tumblr because it's on my phone (why don't the other two have apps? They're pretty hard to use from a phone).

    And it's because my motivation to devote myself to any tasks has been very limited. And today (well, yesterday now) I found out why. Turns out I'm a bona-fide insominac with restless leg syndrome to boot! Of course, I suspected both of these, given that for about a year or so now I've been unable to sleep for a few hours after getting in bed, and I'll lie there for that time tossing and turning and sometimes it'll be well after dawn by the time I finally fall asleep.

    So what I've been told to do is to go to bed at a set time every night. Which sounds standard until you consider that the specific time he set, given that he recognizes I'm a general night owl, is three thirty am.

    So I've been medically ordered to stay up till half the night! And get up promptly at noon, which may seem super late to a lot of you but that's roughly when people in my house get up (mom works till 11:30 pm so we tend to have different hours than most houses).

    I'll let you all know how it goes. I hope that it settles things! I'm sick of being so unmotivated and unfocused! It's really unsettling.

    I'll be filling that time with some other stuff now. I'm going to update the sales some more, hopefully...
    Tuesday, April 17th, 2012
    3:15 am
    Man idk why I haven't posted in so long. I've been feeling really distant lately, over the past few months. Haven't even touched my sales since the con, even to update them.

    I need someone to kick me into shape here! Get on me to do things! Can someone do that?
    Thursday, January 19th, 2012
    6:17 pm
    Hm. So I'm still here. Cyrus isn't though. He's moved to DW like the rest of Smash Academy.

    I've been feeling especially nolstalgic lately. I keep thinking about things I experienced in childhood. The sound and feel and smell of dried leaves half a foot thick as I walked down the street, kicking them out in a loose arc in front of me. How we'd go to the state park for the maple syrup festival and have a pancake breakfast with syrup made on-site from trees still tapped and bucketed. The smell of the lilly of the valley in the thin strip of dirt between the walkway and house in our backyard. Sitting in class with everyone else. That feeling that only lying in bed under thick covers knowing that it's snowing outside can bring, that sort of wayward romanticism that it conjures in our minds. Riding my bike well outside my boundries to speed past my friend Mike's house three miles away and shout some random clever thought so he'd know it was me, even though I don't think he ever heard it. Or riding my bike the other direction to the big church at the end of the block whose parking lot was about ten times larger than it ever needed so I could take my feet off the pedals and coast down the perpetually deserted area at far faster than my feet could ever take me.

    I'm using those feelings a bit to work on the next chapter of Obsession. Perhaps it's a bit odd to have a nine year old character muse about his past or surroundings, but I did so even at that age. I'd think about the house I moved out of when I was six, and the surrounding area. The playground that was about a quarter mile away but that it was such a treat to go to because we rarely did. Crossing over the railroad tracks to get to the store, and how when we moved I couldn't sleep because I couldn't hear the trains any more (I still sleep with a white noise machine).

    The other day I got fired. I'm still not sure that I did anything wrong, but I do know that I'd been considering quitting even before that.

    I got approved for a house today. I'm not looking forward to it at all. It's a fairly recent convention to insist that offspring leave the house at a certain age, or at all, so I don't understand why I can't stay here, why it's considered unusual for me to be here. My parents have become insufferable, but surely that's nothing new in history.

    My dad spent Christmas in the hospital. He had a fever of 107 and nearly died, but he's ok now. Turns out that his lungs are corroded from swallowing acid reflux at night, to the point where they look like he's smoked for 25 years (he smoked once and only once, and that was when he was a kid, as kids do).

    I'm able to reply to comments now. I'm not sure what the issue was, but even now the reply button is greyed out and seems unclickable. Maybe I was able to all along and the grey was only psychological? I have no idea.

    I'm going to update my sales more often. I'll have to, if I live on my own. I haven't updated in months, and I've really got no excuse for that. I've let things go unanswered, even knowing that I need the money. I've had such lethargy lately, to the point where I'll put off doing things I know I want to do. I got Skyward Sword for Christmas and I haven't opened it yet because I've got a blockade against starting something new. It took me a few days to read Phantom Thief Pokemon 7 even though I'd wanted to read it for years (I wound up being somewhat underwhelmed although that's probably for a different post). I didn't even log into this account for a while.

    My sleep's been disrupted lately. I keep taking forever to fall asleep no matter how exhausted I am, I'll wake up at all hours, and when I get up it takes me over an hour sometimes to get moving. I talked to the doctor and she thinks I have a vitamin D deficency, but I'd already been taking suppliments (apparently, due to the lack of sun out here, it's very common in this part of the world).

    I've been taking some steps towards doing things. I got a sewing machine and some cookbooks. I've set up a housewarming registry. But I keep thinking about the isolation. I'll have Athena and you online people and sometimes Kelly and that's about it. I'm not good at making friends in person.

    So um...any advice?
    Wednesday, December 21st, 2011
    12:15 am
    So LJ. Please to stop being a bag of dicks right now.

    I can't even reply! I'm trying to reply in the Release 88 thread and none of my journals will let me do so! I was before, but all of a sudden the "Add comment" button remains greyed out and won't become clickable.

    I was initially on Cyrus's account, but when that happened, I switched to Jirarudan's account. Same thing. Then to my own. Also same thing.

    The hell, LJ. I wasn't posting near enough to qualify for a flood filter.

    Anyway, I sent this in to the California BBB:


    Complaint Description:
    LiveJournal issued a beta test wherin some of its core details changed dramatically. Beta testers advised it not to proceed yet the administration did anyway. Now, loyal bloggers are left unable to access basic functions such as comment previews, subject lines, and other things of use. Additionally, the agent known as "igrick" mocked beta testers in Russian, assuming they wouldn't understand him. LJ has not listened to its paying member base, and refuses to provide any way to return to the original format that we signed up and paid money for. Finally, the new default color scheme, used on administration blogs and unchangable therin, is causing headaches, eyeaches, and migranes in many users, and this strikes me as a medical issue.

    Your Desired Resolution:
    Their attention, basically. We pay money to blog with them and it feels like they don't take any of that into account.


    I know there's probably a million holes in it but I don't care.

    How can LJ be so awesome in some regards and so buttfuck stupid in others? Like when they supported the controversial Russian bloggers who were targeted by the service attacks? That was pretty badass and I wanted to high five them all. But then they turn around and do this? What the cheese is going on in your heads, LJ?


    EDIT: I'm still unable to reply, including to my OWN POST HERE. I can MAKE a post but I can't comment to it? That makes no sense!

    ANOTHER EDIT SEVERAL HOURS LATER: I can't change to custom comments because I'm on S1 which apparently doesn't have that ability. But I was able to comment for years, including several times in that thread just earlier tonight. I can think of no valid reason for my comments to suddenly stop working.
    Friday, December 16th, 2011
    5:15 am
    So I'm back. I never even planned to go anywhere but for some reason I just...didn't log into this account for a month.

    Which is a bit strange, considering that I haven't even been using my RP account. I'm still in SBG, but I sort of wrote Cyrus out for a while until a plot got mostway written.

    Which leads me to be...well, frankly, upset. So many people wanted to be a part of the event I'd come up with, but so few of them posted. I even had to make a different post for the climax of the plot because I have to get him back in the game (mod approved action, I might add).

    But it's disappointing. For the longest time I've felt like I really belong with them, and now suddenly it's like no one wants to hang out with me. I know it's "pretendy funtimes" but this isn't about the game. This is about the people. When you tell someone that you'll do something with them and then you don't show up for it, of course it's going to shake their faith in you.

    Yeah, I know some of you read this journal. But I've said all this before. It's really frustrated. I divided up the thread like that in order to cut down on confusion, and yet all I hear is "it's confusing to have it divided up". I don't want things to end up being contradictory or anything, which is why I did that. I explained it.

    I'm really not sure what to do. I want to keep playing Cyrus, and I want to keep playing him in SBG. But right now I'm not feeling any spark to play him, and it's because I've spent the past month sitting around waiting for comments that never came, for plots that were discussed and planned but never happened.

    And I'm tired of being dismissed when I bring it up. I want to do this because I want to keep playing, but I feel like I'm being ignored.

    I really do love you guys though. I'm just frustrated.


    I've also been sick for quite a while. I'm not sure why, and it keeps changing around. Most of the time I'm extremely lethargic and feel borderline feverish, even though no fever has manifested. Right now I also have a sore throat. Oh yeah, and despite the lethargy, I can barely get to sleep. I'm up all night and can only sleep when I'm absolutely exhausted. Right now it's 4 am and I'm wide awake.


    I've been so confused by a lot of things lately, moreso than usual. If I started a community for people to ask potentially offensive questions out of genuine answer-seeking in an environment that would be flame and accusation free, would any of you join? So often I'm met with "well you just don't WANT to understand" when people claim to be explaining things to me that I don't get despite me trying my damndest to comprehend that I take to be arbitrary standards or whatever.


    So a few weeks ago I casually mentioned being asexual to my mom and she insists that I can't be because I've had crushes on guys. That's one of those things that I have a feeling makes sense to other people, but to me her reply was a massive nonsequetior. Like yeah I know those things often overlap, but to connect them so directly seems like she suddenly started babbling or something.


    I'm not sure why my understanding is getting worse. It's troublesome for me, because I can't imagine a time in my life where these things *would* have made any more sense, but I was never this confused by everyday things before. It seems I can't go a few hours without thinking "well why in the world would someone do that?" or "well, that makes no logical sense" or "oh come on people don't really do that". I never used to do that.


    I started on Obsession 24 but I only wrote a few paragraphs before stopping. I tell myself it's because I don't know what to do with Veronica and her whole thing (see chapter 23 to know what I'm talking about), but I don't think that's the full issue. One, I have no idea what the chapter will be *about*, but mostly, I just don't feel it any more. I haven't felt Jiri-like in ages, although I adore talking about him! It's his mindset, that complete detachment from everything around him. I feel like I'm too involved in what's around me, which is interesting because it isn't true at all. I'm going to finish the story! It may just take longer than anticipated.


    It's after 5 am now and I'm only starting to get sleepy. At the beginning I was wondering if I was even going to post this, but I think I will (well, you already knew that since you read this far).

    Man how can I type so fast when I'm tired and it's 5 am?


    Anyway, I wanted to get some things off my chest. Any advice for getting back into Jirarudan's mindset? I'd try RPing him but it's hard to do without delving into headcanon sooner or later.
    Thursday, November 17th, 2011
    3:33 pm
    It's that time of year again! Give me your addresses (the post is screened, obviously) and I'll send you something cool! And if you ask, I'll PM you my address too.

    Also I do need names to accompany the addresses. I've been told that to send to Canada, real names are required (although someone else at the post office said I didn't, despite the first time hearing it came when a letter was refused shipping because of the lack of name! How odd). I think most of you non-Canadians can just give me your internet name though.
    Saturday, October 29th, 2011
    7:59 pm
    Ok I promised a meme. I ganked this from this entry and I think it ought to be fun.

    Anyway the basic premise is that there's this weird belief that if we express a controversial belief in our fics, we MUST hold that view ourselves. So we go through and list all the things we'd be if our stories were us.

    I would beeeeee...

    -an art collector
    -an airship pilot
    -a death god
    -a cult leader
    -a huge science-fiction nerd
    -a former commando
    -a current commando
    -an amnesiac MI6 agent
    -a parrot
    -the smartest person in my entire hometown
    -completely oblivious to social cues and tone of voice
    -the victim of years of emotional neglect
    -a hyperactive flirt
    -a religious maniac
    -a temple guardian
    -obsessed with a firebird
    -obsessed with a water bird
    -obsessed with my dead best friend
    -plotting to reshape the world
    -an ecoterrorist
    -sleeping with my boss
    -sleeping with my employees
    -wearing a mask all the time
    -incredibly wealthy
    -a crime leader
    -making people emotionally dependent on me as a hobby
    -a technogeek
    -a major in astrophysics
    -a university graduate at 19
    -the emperor of a parallel world
    -the empress of a whole planet
    -a soldier
    -a brainwashed farmboy
    -the owner of a magical sword
    -never taken seriously
    -a sorceress from another planet
    -a seemingly emotionless bounty hunter
    -a drug addict
    -a brawler
    -a scientific genius
    -Japanese
    -British
    -a clone
    -an empty vessel
    -a magical being
    -a half-magical being
    -a teenager in love
    -far older than I look
    -far younger than I look


    And that's just off the top of my head!
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